Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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