You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
