whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
