farters have to be the big spoon...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
