Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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