Define "chronic" masturbator.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
please come you make the beer taste better
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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