I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
