But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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