I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
