I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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