I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
