Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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