mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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