Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
