I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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