I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
