He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Someone signed my nipple.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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