Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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