P.S. I can't hear my feet
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
only if we run a train.
done.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
