I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
