I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
