you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
