her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
