gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize