after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just want to make out with him forever
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
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