Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You are the jesus of drinking
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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