he shaved USA in his pubs
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Be still, my beating vagina.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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