Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
A bitchslap is in order.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
