You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
