Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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