I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
