I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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