I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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