but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There r osticjed everywhere
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
