What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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