i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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