I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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