Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize