Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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