ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
