This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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