No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
