I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize