I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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