Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize