I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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