i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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