Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
