How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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