frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
