if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
