allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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