Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
