I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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