So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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