Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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