so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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